it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
