if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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