I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
