1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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