Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
