I want to stick my p in your. b.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
