Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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