STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
