i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize