just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
