if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
