he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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