I'm gonna have a badass scar
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
