I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
