so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
