in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
