Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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