I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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