I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
