i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize