I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
