She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
