I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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