hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize