I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
