Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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