I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Your cock deserves a montage
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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