are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
