But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
