I think i sorta joined a cult last night
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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