I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I CAN MOONWALK!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
