he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
