i can't believe i had my finger in that
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
