love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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