You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
