You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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