I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
