She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize