I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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