Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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