I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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