Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
