I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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