I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
