If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
