I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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