i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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