At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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