If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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