I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize