i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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