I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
