Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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