Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
