is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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