y did u give ur computer a hand job?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
