I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
